Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Dates with Me

So we had a date and not much money...

Q: Wanna know what we did?
A: We went to the mall

Q: Wanna know what made it interesting?
A: We played a game

Q: What kind of game?
A: It went like this...

Q: How many things could we get at the mall for a total of $2.00?
A: 1 sample of Mrs. Fields Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie
1 sample of Orange Chicken from a knock off Panda Express
1 sample of Orange Chicken from a "Thai" place next door to the knock off Panda Express
1 sample of more chicken from who knows where, I think this place was Japanese
1 sample of a fantastic piece of California Chicken Sandwich from O'Charleys

Q: Can you tell we hit the food court first?
A: Yes

Q: Wanna know more? The list doesn't end there-
A: Of course you do.
1 handful of Reese's Pieces from a vending machine (25 cents)
1 crazy yellow speckled 20 sided dice (yes, I know the singular form is "die" but I thought
you might be confused) (53 cents)
1 awesome Christian sentiment card with my favorite picture on it: Two penguins looking at
each other. One with a big orange fish eating his head, with a headline that says, "Relax,
God's in charge." (15 cents- but only b/c someone gave me a penny to cover the extra cent)
1 demo of "Glo"- a new Bible software that is visually appealing and intriguing (Ryan will let
you know)
1 Lancome Face Cream sample which guarantees that I will look younger in 7 days (Ryan will
let you know)

Q: More?
A: Unbelievable, but yes...
2 stickers from Slackers- a hippy butterfly which I tried to convince Ryan we should put on
our minivan and a green alien head with a striped propeller cap which I neglected to suggest
that we put on our minivan (I mean we can't be both hippy and sci-fi geek, can we?) (70
cents - our biggest splurge yet)
1 super sours candy ball from vending machine which Ryan insisted we could split (turns out
he was wrong, I got a lick instead- you know, just to say it was "ours") (25 cents)
1 Building Rome Nightmare Teasers CD with three bestselling songs which include such
intelligent titles as "Sink Like an Anchor", "What are We Fighting For?", and my personal
favorite, "Dr. Doctor"

Q: Is that it?
A: No, one more thing-
Upon determining in my head that we had 12 cents left and then Ryan determining we had
19 cents left, we headed for the candy store. What can we get in one of those bins for 19
cents? We didn't know. So we (well, I, actually) asked the nice Indian cashier (while Ryan
walked away "discreetly" in embarrassment) what we could possibly get for 19 cents for our
little game. The very nice man gave us pick of anything in any bin in the store and said we
could have it for 19 cents.

Q: So what did we pick? A Lindt Chocolate? A chocolate orange?
A: Nothing that sophisticated...
A wax soda bottle (you know the one) -the one that you open with your teeth. We split it on
our way out of the store while chewing on the wax (such an aphrodisiac)

Q: 17 cents? That means you have 2 cents leftover?
A: No, actually it means that, as is typical in most marriages, "MISCOMMUNICATION",
(supposedly a high contributor to divorce) took place. You see Ryan thought I was talking
about adding numbers rather than subtracting so actually placed us "OVER BUDGET" at
$2.05 (with ironically, finances being the number one contributor to divorce)

Q: Was there friction?
A: No, we decided to split a cookie cake slice on a bench for $3.71.

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